Christmas In Oklahoma

Woke up this morning with a layer of frost on the ground. A white Christmas? Well sort of. It's strange being in a different place for this holiday. This holiday is strange all around for me. Reflections of Christmas past running through my head. I'm no Scrooge. I'm not bah humbugging this weekend, but I am not really feeling celebratory.

Good times. That's what I've taken with me. Remembering the fun we had. Remembering the time Kodie chased the cat up the tree, my first year in Florida, knocking the tree down. Laughing so hard as my little puppy, all 8 pounds of him, was stuck in the top of the tree. Yes, he climbed the tree too. That's the last time I had a real tree. Somewhere I have a picture of the leaning tree of Florida. Jaysen and I laughed so hard watching that.

All the fun times we had, with nothing really. Never had a huge blowout Christmas. Making the stockings by hand, one for me, one for Jay, and of course one for the puppies. Spent all year making those. My grandmother started me on that. She made me and my brother one. And I still laugh thinking about mine. She forgot the "e" In my name. Bless you Grammy I miss you.

When I was a kid, my brother and I always slept in his room since my grandparents were in my room. I remember sleeping, well trying to pretend to sleep, on the top bunk, counting down the minutes till I could wake up my parents. Oh those were the days. Chris and I would be outside their door till 5am when we could go wake them up. Nothing better then crawling into bed with your parents on Christmas morning. Good times.

And now I'm making it a new day. I knew this year would be hard. And it is. I'm away from all my family. I'm in a strange city. I'm not really celebrating it this year. Instead I'm reflecting on my past. I'm not sad. I'm not happy. But I'm ok. Memories are my Christmas this year. And I cherish those. I miss you Jay, and I hope you are in a better place.

The end of this year is so welcome. It's just another day I keep walking. Strong, with my head held high. I face this unafraid, reality is with me. Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it. Find this eve and tomorrow wrapped in warmth, love, and laughter.